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THE 'MACKI' WAY
This summer, Italian football was hit by the scandal of the “Moggi Way”,
an intricate web of favours and relationships used to manipulate Italian
football in a subtle, almost imperceptible way.
Ramspace can exclusively
reveal that Derby County has been linked to an attempt to influence
English football in a system referred to as the “Macki Way”.
Investigations are currently reviewing a number of suspicious incidents
during the Rams 2005/6 season:
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Giles Barnes (“one of the top 3 players in the championship” Chris
Kamara) featured in every
pre-season friendly, prompting new boss Phil
Brown to say he was a set to be a major part
of the squad. He was
then suspiciously left out of the first team until the following
February.
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5’7” Stern John, a regular goalscorer in both the Premiership and
Championship throughout
his career, was isolated in a 4-5-1 system
tailored made for a 6 foot+ striker. The Flak
was subtly diverted
towards the man himself who was shipped back to Cov after 3 months
of
misery and not a single goal to his name. Once back at the Ricoh, he,
predictably, started
smashing goals in left, right and centre.
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Novices David Holdsworth and Kevin Poole were both plucked from
obscurity and given key
jobs in the coaching structure. Both also
managed to infiltrate the playing field to the
astonishment of players,
players dad's and fans alike.
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Emerson Thome was
financially secure enough to retire from English football shortly after
a series of abominable displays for the Rams.
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A
possible insurance scam involving Kalou Fadiga: a man with a known heart
problem and
short on fitness was pitched into a full on dogs of
war battle against hard working Leeds
Utd at Elland Road. Fadiga was
hauled off after being ran ragged for 60 minutes. Rumours
of empty cans
of Red Bull smeared in haggis near his Lucozade bottle are unconfirmed.
Not
surprisingly after this alleged botched attempt on his life, he
returned to Bolton almost
immediately.
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Inigo Idiakez, widely lauded as one of the division’s most creative and
prolific midfielders was
forced to play in a deep holding role to
"protect our back 4" and, more importantly to the plan,
curtail his
attacking instincts.
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Andrew Davies, often a key player for
the Rams, seemed to intentionally get himself sent
off by making
reckless tackles and/or speaking back to the referee, when already on a
yellow
card. Astonishingly this happened not once, not twice, but three
times!
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A
breakdown in the “Macki Way” lead to the accidental signing of a good
player, when a
much needed ball winning centre half, Darren Moore joined
the Rams. Phil Brown became the
internal scapegoat and was sacked
shortly after.
NOTE to Legal Eagles - this article is a gag. We
made it up for comedy purposes and we are not suggesting that any
employee of DCFC actually deliberately tried to harm the progress of the
club. In particular the bit about the attempted murder of Fadiga is pure
made up in the same way that a TV drama would make up a plot against the
prime minister. |
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He's fat,. he's shit, he was
nowhere near fit..... |
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His play got the heart racing
- Literally! |
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"Shit, 5 minutes to go &
we're still
winning. Oi ref,
you're mum's a terrorist"
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